That headline is clickbait, but the underlying topic is meaningful. There isn’t a universally accepted list of things you should “never” say, though some phrases can unintentionally come across as dismissive or hurtful.
Examples of comments that many grieving people find unhelpful include:
- “Everything happens for a reason.”
- “They’re in a better place.” (unless you know this aligns with the person’s beliefs)
- “At least they lived a long life.”
- “I know exactly how you feel.”
- “You need to be strong.”
- “It’s time to move on.”
More supportive alternatives are often:
- “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
- “I’m thinking of you.”
- “I’m here if you want to talk.”
- “What can I do to help right now?”
- “I remember how kind/funny/thoughtful they were.” (sharing a genuine memory can be comforting)
The most important thing is usually to listen more than you speak and let the grieving person set the pace of the conversation.
So, the headline’s “especially not the 4th” is simply a tactic to make you click. There’s no universally agreed-upon “worst” phrase. If you have the full list from the post, I can tell you which suggestions are helpful and which are misleading.
